2025 Regular Season - Week 10
WHO HAS PAID
Commissioner Stalin
Boof
The Sneaky Greek
The Kosher Nostra
WHO HASN’T PAID
Q
Sloppy Joe
HI-Life Ganja Farmers
The Law Firm
The Toll Booth
Coach Rubs
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Week 10 Recap
Q v. The Kosher Nostra - An interesting strategy by Q here with 3 guys on a bye and one completely empty spot in his starting lineup in a must-win game against Big Mike to keep division hopes alive let alone playoff hopes at all, but here we are. It likely didn’t matter much as his QBs couldn’t even combine for 15 points, but it was still a winnable game with Mike only scoring 173 despite getting a win. The Cheese had average performances across the board sans a big game from Jameson Williams, but it was more than enough as Q didn’t try at all and just eats the L to fall to 5-5. Mike is now 7-3 and currently leading the North over Nikki due to beating her earlier this season
Boof v. Coach Rubs - A real barn burner here with Logan once again not setting a lineup and subsequently losing a very winnable game, to Brock of all teams. He didn’t even start a guy on a bye or an injured guy, he straight up has empty spots at DB and kicker. Brock started a full lineup, and still only scored 153. Logan would definitely be in playoff position this year if he simply hit the ‘Quick Lineup’ button on the app, but alas he is now 3-7 and just one game ahead of Basement Boof, who is 2-8 after the big win
Commissioner Stalin v. Sloppy Joe - Somehow in a position to get into the playoff hunt despite an 0-6 start to the season, the Soviets blew a very winnable game against a Sloppy Joe team that put in a lineup mere minutes before 1 PM kickoff on Sunday afternoon. Joe came in with 5 guys on a bye week, still hanging out in his lineup around 12:30 PM EST, and subsequently (assumingly?) used the ‘Quick Lineup’ button on the app to fill his lineup minutes before catching an instant L with all those byes. The result? Stalin loses because his own Brown, Mililani Legend Dillon Gabriel, drops nearly 20 points in a spot start for former Brown Joe Flacco, who was on a bye and in Joe’s starting lineup until just before the week started, to give Sloppy Joe a win in a close game that we’re not sure he was even aware of until just before kickoff. AutoJoe is now 5-5 while Stalin falls to 2-8
The Toll Booth v. The Law Firm - Huge games out of De’Von Achane and Drake London led the Brits to a big week, putting up 192 points on division rival Any, Esq. in a flyweight matchup for the ages. Anthony’s buns squad put up a valiant effort, but couldn’t reach the 160 point plateau as Sammy Darnold, Michael Peenman, and TJ Hockenpeen all fell flat as each scored under 5 points. That is: NOT how you do it. The real story here though was the battle of DLs, with Tuli Tulipulotu and Laiatu Latu facing off in this one. Tulipulotu outscored Latu AND got the W, so surely some green bottles are in order after the big Toll Booth win. Nikki is now 7-3 and tied with Mike for the North Division lead, while Any, Esq. falls to 3-7 and is dangerously close to trophy shipping territory
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
The Sneaky Greek v. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - Another game! The GOTW turned out to live up to expectations, with Djavan getting out to a MASSIVE led behind Jonathan Taylor’s 49 point outing only to see the Sneaky Greek slither his way in with 60 points from his two Lions in Jared Goff and Jahmyr Gibbs to put up the highest score of the week at 220. And that even includes a bagel from his punter! Wow! Djavan, in typical fashion, scored the 2nd most points of the week just to play the only team that outscored him and catches a very unfortunate L as a result. Taylor put up 25% of Djavan’s points in the loss, with the rest of the team struggling as the Ganja Farmers drop to 7-3 on the season while Zack is now 9-1 and firmly in control of the East
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
AutoJoe wins the Bold Play Award for starting Dillon Gabriel, who plays QB for the Browns and played 45 years of college football, in a last minute coaching move at 12:59 PM to beat Stalin (Browns fan) in a must win game for both squads
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
Just noticed this happened so it’s easily the scoop of the week - Logan picked up two guys, including QB Davis Mills who dropped 27, and went through the effort to not just scoop them but put them in his lineup, and then still left two spots completely empty in a 12 point loss. Simply incredible
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
Logan and Q both win for not setting lineups. Again. (b2b weeks of this being the winner)
.Week 11 preview
The Law Firm v. The Kosher Nostra - A tight battle is projected in this division game with Mike and Anthony nearly projected to tie after some solid LB outings on both squads in the NFL Spain game feat. Tua vs. Mariota. Despite the close projection, these teams come in with very different goals here as Mike is 7-3 and currently atop the North Division on an H2H tiebreaker over Nikki while Anthony is 3-7 and hoping to not pay trophy shipping. One thing we can be sure of though, is that Mike absolutely loves the Philadelphia Eagles. Both Jalen Hurts AND Saquon!? It’s gonna be tough watching Devonta Smith suiting up for the Law Firm, but he’s even doubled down by rostering Eagles RB Tank Bigsby on his bench just so he has even more Birds on his roster. Anthony, meanwhile, is a massive Dallas Cowboys fan, rolling out both Dak AND Cedarian DeLeon Lamb, so this NFL East rivalry matchup only fuels the fire in an already tight divisional game in the North. Look for Mike to make sketchy backdoor deals as always and have this result in a hung jury and defaulting to a shady Wisconsin W
Boof v. The Sneaky Greek - Jesus Christ, who scheduled this game? 9-1 vs. 2-8? The hell is this? Zack is projected to win by 30, he has a linebacker that’s outscored Stefon Diggs before the 1PM slate even starts, and Brock is rolling out Emari Demercado (backup), a TE in the flex position to start 2 total, and Mac Jones (not starting) at quarterback in his AI generated nerd lineup. And then there’s Zack’s team. Two Steeler DL’s? Give me a break. The Steelers are terrible, find a new slant. Get real. George Kittle? He’ll get hurt. Davante Adams? He’s still playing?? Jacoby Brisket? If you’re lookin, you ain’t cookin buddy. Keep that shit closed. This game is a dumpster fire of all dumpster fires, and the League Premier’s Office would like to deeply apologize to each and every one of you for subjecting you to this matchup so late in the season. Brock might score 150, but we’ll see
Coach Rubs v. Sloppy Joe - Logan set a lineup! Hooray! Joe hasn’t yet, but he likely will do what he always does and Quick Lineup it minutes before kickoff to score either a very average score in a nonsense victory or drop 210 and still lose somehow. Honestly, this should be the game of the week just because we might have both Logan AND Joe set lineups in the same game, but we won’t count our chickens before they hatch as we’re still relying on AutoJoe. The Slop is projected to win with a 190 point score even without setting a lineup, but Logan has to be feeling himself today as he put guys in this week and is hoping to right the ship. Unlikely, but we love the effort
Commissioner Stalin v. Q - The Soviets come in at 2-8 and with a mere 2% chance of qualifying for the playoffs after a brutal loss to a Dillon Gabriel-led AutoJoe squad last week, so that means Q will surely set a lineup for the first time in a month. Q is 5-5 despite not trying at all and still very alive for the playoffs, but he’s got an empty RB spot and is currently starting 2 injured guys at WR and TE so we will see what happens. Look for Q to set a last minute lineup like Joe did last week and score just enough to beat a gulag-bound Soviet squad to keep the fraudulent Los Angeles fans’ playoff hopes alive
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
The Toll Booth v. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - A huge game this week as Nikki and Djavan square off for the only time this season in a game that could be critical for playoff seeding down the road. Both teams come in at 7-3, and both are second in their division in tight battles. Djavan takes a big blow with Jonathan Taylor on a bye this week with Nikki losing Chris Olave and Alvin Kamara for the same reason, begging the question how in the hell is she 7-3 with two Saints in her starting offense? Nikki also loves Malik Washington, the new Dolphins WR2 after Tyreek Hill went down, as he is once again penciled into her flex spot and puts up good enough numbers to suffice, we suppose. Djavan is projected to win this one and is hoping for some PenixBall, but you never know with this feisty English squad. Look for our first tie in years, all of which feature Djavan