2025 Regular Season - Week 4
WHO HAS PAID
Commissioner Stalin
Boof
The Sneaky Greek
The Kosher Nostra
WHO HASN’T PAID
Q
Sloppy Joe
HI-Life Ganja Farmers
The Law Firm
The Toll Booth
Coach Rubs
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Week 4 Recap
Commissioner Stalin v. The Law Firm - Just incredible. Four weeks into the 2025 season, the Soviets have lost 2 games already due to Wednesday night stat corrections, this time taking an L in the Gravy Bowl I, 2025 Edition to the Law Firm by just 0.1 points after a Cooper DeJean pass defended was added in at 2:30 AM on Wednesday. Exactly like we drew it up. Starting Danny Dimes over Trevor Lawrence turned out to be the difference for Stalin, with that one point gap being the difference between a win and a loss. The Soviets are now 0-4 after two stat correction L’s and two single digit losses, while the Law Firm sneaks his way sketchily into a 2-2 record
HI-Life Ganja Farmers v. Sloppy Joe - The Ganja Farmers came crashing down to earth this week, putting up a good score but running full speed into a dominant AutoJoe squad. Joe got 57 points just from his Stafford-Puka stack alone, and added that to big games from CMC, James Cook, and DK Metcalf to blow past the 200 point plateau in a huge win to right the ship after b2b losses. AutoJoe even got 21 points from his special teams unit in the win, as Djavan couldn’t muster enough despite good games from Josh Allen and Kenneth Gainwell (yes) on the week. Joe moves to 2-2 and gives Djavan his first loss of 2025 sitting at 3-1
Q v. Boof - It’s a bad day to be a Boof. Already ravaged by injuries on his squad, with starters Jayden Daniels and Terry McLaurin both out this week due to injuries, Brock watched Malik Nabers - his first round draft pick - tear his ACL jumping for a pass after putting up just 3 points on the week. Star LB Roquan Smith also got hurt this week, and to really dump salt in the wound, Brock picked up Joey Slye (K5) before the week, just for him to shank it multiple times and put up a really solid -1 point. Q didn’t blow the doors off the place this week, but big games from Jordan Love and Amon-Ra St. Brown were enough to get a third straight win after dropping opening week. Q advances to 3-1 with the victory as Boof falls to 1-3 and is surely hitting the panic button in his title defense with all the injuries that have hit his squad. SUCKS
The Toll Booth v. The Kosher Nostra - Absolutely unbelievable. All the lobbying we did in league headquarters to get international games in the NFL, all the work Any, Esq. did negotiating with the NFL’s counsel, Irish and British customs, and the NFLPA to get you a game in your homeland, and you start an injured guy again? Not just any injured guy, an injured guy playing in that game!? In your own archipelago!? In the flex position!? On the 2nd game of the entire week!? Are you kidding me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
The Sneaky Greek v. Coach Rubs - The Game of the Week absolutely did not disappoint, as both teams put up high scores in a matchup that went right down to the MNF doubleheader we got this week. Logan set a lineup this week, getting 50 points from RBs Bijan and Omarion Hampton, and another 26 from Patty Homes to give him a final score of 192, a marked change from his non-set lineup last week. Unfortunately for him, the Greeks were absolutely cooking this week and broke the 200-point plateau for the 2nd time in just 4 weeks this season. He got his points from Carson Wentz, Quentin Johnston, and George Pickens (not a joke), and Kyle Pitts finally remembered how to play football as he found the end zone in a big Greek win. Zack is now 3-1 while Coach Rubs drops to 1-3
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
The Bold Play Award for Week 4 goes to Q, who started Tank Bigsby at RB. Bigsby proceeded to play zero (0) offensive snaps in the Eagles game this weekend, and Q got a really solid bagel out of it. Ask Mike for some lox
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
Brock definitely wins the Scoop Award for week 4 by picking up kicker Joey Slye, who proceeded to post -1 on the week and lose Brock a whole point after missing multiple kicks. Brock lost
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
Nikki started a guy that was injured in a game playing in Ireland, just a few hundred miles from where she literally is, halfway across the world. Come on
.Week 5 preview
Commissioner Stalin v. The Toll Booth - After a second stat correction L just 4 weeks into the season, we all know what’s coming here. The Soviets are actually (somehow) favored in this game, but Nikki set a lineup this week so she’ll surely win on a stat correction next Wednesday evening. Incoming Alex Singleton added tackle at 2:30 AM, lock it in. Nikki is 2-2 and trying to get atop the division, while the Soviets are looking for win number one in a brutal 2025 so far. This is gonna be awful
The Kosher Nostra v. The Sneaky Greek - Zack’s team is so bad man. He’s still favored to win, but he’s rolling out Carson Wentz at QB? Again?? Mike (noted Eagles fan) is hoping the Birds can pull it off against the Bronclols and get Saquon going, but he’s also starting Elic Ayomanor (literally who) at WR. Apparently he plays for the Titans. Speaking of ‘who is that’, Mike is also rolling out Woody Marks at the flex spot. I’ll save you the google and tell you now that Woody Marks is a rookie RB for the Texans. Idk man. Luckily Mike is playing Zack, who has such an awful team man and he has no shot. Mike by a million
Sloppy Joe v. Boof - Sloppy Joe is coming off of a huge week, but he usually doesn’t win those games and then comes right back down to earth and sits back into his groove with a 170 point outing. He’s due for that this week, and Boof is lucky for that after a brutal injury to Malik Nabers (first round talent) to send him to a 1-3 start in his title defense. Brock is starting Bryce Young at QB, which is not usually a recipe for success, but Joe is about to start Brock Purdy in a game that kicks off in 5 minutes from this writing (he is out) so that should go well. Not that it matters, AutoJoe’s backup is Russell Wilson, who is not starting. Love to see it
Coach Rubs v. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - DAWG hwhat the heyll. Djavan is coming off of his first loss of the season, and is favored here in an easy game against Logan whose team is just so bad man. He’s literally not even starting someone in the flex. It’s just empty. And look at that starting lineup. Rachaad White? He doesn’t even start on his own team. AJ Brown? I thought he was hurt, haven’t seen him all year. Patrick Mahomes? So washed man. Cam Skattebo? Who is that? Get real. Give me a break. What an awful team. All the Ganja Farmers have to do is start a lineup and they are well on their way to a 4-1 record
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
The Law Firm v. Q - Anthony Bowl I of 2015 is our GOTW this week, with Q leading the North at 3-1 with the Law Firm just a game back at 2-2 after a stat correction W against Commissioner Stalin. Q’s currently starting a bye week RB but surely he’ll change it since he’s in contention this year, and anything can happen in this game in which neither team is projected to break 160 total points. “Defense wins championships, especially in IDP format, the greatest fantasy football format ever created in mankind’s history and every league should do it” - says Law Firm owner Anthony Giordano, Jr., Esq., CSFFL League Counsel. It’s all gonna come down to the most important positions. That’s right. Punters.
Let’s go.