2025 Regular Season - Week 7
WHO HAS PAID
Commissioner Stalin
Boof
The Sneaky Greek
The Kosher Nostra
WHO HASN’T PAID
Q
Sloppy Joe
HI-Life Ganja Farmers
The Law Firm
The Toll Booth
Coach Rubs
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Week 7 Recap
The Kosher Nostra v. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - A massive week 7 game between Mike and Djavan ended up in a win for the curds, as JSN, Aaron Rodgers, and Mike’s favorite player on his favorite team Jalen Hurts all put up serious points to secure a huge win. The Ganja Farmers had a big game from Jonathan Taylor (again), but it wasn’t enough to overcome another buns performance from Justin Fields at QB with a really solid 3.2 points. In a wild coincidence, both teams ended up with a bagel out of some stud WRs, ironically both in the same game, as Jameson Williams (Mike) and Mike Evans (Djavan) both dropped a cool 0 on the week. Both Mike and Djavan are now 5-2 and heading towards playoff spots
Q v. Sloppy Joe - AutoJoe has been putting up points this season, but often ends up catching L’s when he does. This week was no different, as Joe had a big week behind Stafford, CMC, and Seahawks LB Ernest Jones to end up with a really solid 192 point score, but it wasn’t enough. Q’s team was on an absolute bender, with 69.9 points between Bo Nix and Ja’Marr Chase alone leading him to a league high 214.9 on the week. The big difference here was Q getting 28 points from his linebackers while Joe got just 19. Man IDP is the best. Q is now 5-2 and AutoJoe is 3-4
Commissioner Stalin v. Boof - A revolution in Moscow! The Soviets finally won a game to end their worst losing streak in franchise history after an 0-6 start to the 2025 season behind big games from Trey McBride, Danny Dimes, and Browns RB Quinshon Judkins. Brock’s injury ravaged title defense season continued as expected, with just 126 points to show from this week 7 showdown. His 3rd highest scorer was his punter, Corey Bojorquez, and speaking of punters, Rigoberto Sanchez (UH Alum that Brock does NOT draft every year) also scored 3 this week in a big Soviet win. Both Stalin and Boof are 1-6 and beyond out of realistic contention pending epic league collapse
The Law Firm v. Coach Rubs - dawg. This was a QB battle through and through, with the Law Firm rolling out Dak & Drake against Coach Rubs and his AFC West combo of Justin Herbert and Patty Mahomes. Both Eagles WRs faced off this week and both had solid weeks, with Devonta Smith outscoring AJ Brown to give the Law Firm the advantage, but ultimately the Texas team came out on top. A 17 point game out of Cowboy kicker Brandon Aubrey and a win in the tight end department really sealed Logan’s win, as nobody is sure why Anthony is still starting some guy named Mason Taylor at TE and that’s easily why he lost. Anthony falls to 2-5 as Logan moves to 3-4
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
The Toll Booth v. The Sneaky Greek - This week’s GOTW was way less exciting than we hoped, as Nikki started Tua in an absolute monsoon in Cleveland and the result was a -1.4 point score for the Dolphin QB and a very obvious L for our London based franchise. The Greeks saw big games out of Jahmyr Gibbs and Davante Adams en route to a 193 point score, which combined with a sneaky 21 points out of Travis Hunter started out of the DB position to give Zack the 3rd highest score of the week. Nikki drops to 4-3 with the unfortunate loss as Zack is on an absolute heater after starting 0-1, with 6 straight wins to get him to a 6-1 record. He must be due for a loss, right?
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
The Bold Play of the Week Award goes to Djavan for starting Justin Fields of the defeated Jets at QB in a big game against Mike. Fields scored 3.2 and Djavan lost. Why?
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
The Scoop of the Week Award goes to the Soviets for picking up UH alum Rigoberto Sanchez, the punter, to get a big win against Brock, who went on a rant about how he ALWAYS drafts Rigoberto. Well guess what Boof? Now he beat you. Suck it
Update, Tuesday 10/21: The Soviet Union has dropped Rigoberto Sanchez
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
The Week 7 You Blew It Award goes to the Law Firm, with multiple bench players outscoring multiple starters in a rough loss to Coach Rubs. Logan’s team is so bad
.Week 8 preview
Coach Rubs v. The Kosher Nostra - Logan’s team is so bad, man. Somehow, despite that, he’s projected to win by 30 points against a 5-2 Cheese Curd squad led by two players on Mike’s favorite team across all sports by far, the Philadelphia Eagles, in Jalen Hurts and Saquon Barkley. Logan has an injured guy - ironically also on Mike’s favorite team (the Eagles) - in AJ Brown and a bye week player in his lineup so we will see if he sets it, but whatever man. His team is so bad. Does he even read this? If he does, get ready for Marvin Mims baby. This is the Marvin Mims game, 3 TDs on 5 receptions and 185 yards. Get ready baby. Marvin Mims. Go Birds
Boof v. The Law Firm - Records aside, this is a huge rivalry matchup in the Battle of Taunton Trace even though both teams have combined for just 3 wins on the season thus far. Boof has spiraled due to injuries in a brutal title defense season, and it only got worse after Thursday Night BezosBall when Derwin James Jr went down quickly with zero points scored and didn’t return. The ensuing bagel for Brock didn’t match up well with 18.8 points out of Ladd McConkey, combining with TJ Hockenpeen’s reliable 3.6 points to give Anthony a comfortable cushion going into the main slate. Anthony is projected to win, but we’ve seen him collapse before so we will see what happens. Actually, Brock is starting Mac Jones and Jaylin Lane (who??). Likely win for the Firm
The Sneaky Greek v. Commissioner Stalin - A bye week extravaganza here in the matchup between Greece and the Soviet Union, with both teams missing multiple top players due to bye weeks here in week 8. That said, both squads come in with markedly different records - the Greeks sit atop the league with a 6-1 record as the Soviets just won their first game last week and are 1-6 on the year. A bizarre TNF matchup between the Vikings and Chargers saw Zack get 7 points out of Carson Wentz, which is a miracle considering his bionic arm and how many times he got absolutely destroyed on what seemed like every possession, and a bizarre bagel out of WR Quinton Johnston. In that same game, the Soviets got 16.2 out of rookie TE Oronde Gadsden II (?) to combine with a really solid 2 points out of starting RB Jordan Mason to get out to a big lead and projected victory, although both teams are still riddled with byes. Look for the Greeks to crush the Soviets because we are so bad man
Sloppy Joe v. The Toll Booth - AutoJoe has a bye week player in his lineup, but it’s only one which is way better than what we are used to since we have no idea where he is or what he is doing. The Rams are on a bye this week, which means so is Joe’s offense. In the meantime, he’s rolling out a really amazing lineup against Nikki featuring Joe Flacco and Dillon Gabriel at QB, both of whom have started games for the Browns this season alone (why), and if we look on the other side of the lineup we have Baker Mayfield - another former Brown - and Spencer Rattler. What the hell is happening? Nikki is 4-3 and AutoJoe is 3-4, so this game is somehow huge for the league standings despite the 4 quarterbacks taking part in the game. Joe is projected to score - you guessed it - 165, while Nikki is projected for 190, but anything is possible with AutoJoe. Let’s go
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
HI-Life Ganja Farmers v. Q - Two 5-2 teams face off here in our GOTW, with Q and Djavan going at it for what could be a huge seeding matchup down the road in the playoffs. Both managers were expecting more out of TNF with Justin Jefferson, Keenan Allen, and Aaron Jones combining for less than 24 points combined across both these teams, but Djavan is still projected to win by a decent margin. We have no idea how that’s possible considering he is still starting Justin Fields at quarterback, but this is the Cowboys Suck league baby and anything can happen. In a GOTW that’s also ravaged by the bye week situation, this will likely be both a close game and a pivotal matchup for seeding in the playoffs. Hell yeah