2026 Regular Season - Week 3

PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!

Week 2 recap

Cooper DePeen vs. The Kosher Nostra

A big running back battle here in this North Division matchup saw Mike’s backs pulling through with 41 combined points to give him the victory over the Law Firm. Anthony was feeling confident with his Jalen Hurts-Devonta Smith stack coming into the week, but the Birds just got terrified and couldn’t put up enough points to keep up with the cheese. Mike had a big game from Patty Homes and some solid outings sprinkled throughout the offense to propel him to a 200 point week, and the Law Firm will surely go back to the drawing board after putting up a losing score that would’ve beat 6 of the 9 other teams in the league this week. Mike was not one of them. The Kosher Nostra is now 2-0 while the Law Firm falls to 1-1

Soviet Union vs. Sloppy Joe

The Soviets actually did start a full team despite the 120 point scoreline, led by a solid 0.8 points from Colston Loveland and Tyler Shough being the highest scoring player by far of the week, which is not what you want to see. Meanwhile, Sloppy Joe got almost 40 points from Josh Allen alone, which carried the rest of his mediocre team to victory. Joe is now 2-0 and leading the East while Stalin is 0-2 and fully expecting to pay trophy shipping with how bad the team is at this point

Hi-Life Ganja Farmers vs. Mooseknuckle

DJ and Coach Rubs gave us the worst game in recent memory here, with neither team even able to crack 130 points despite both actually starting full squads. Logan’s team is so bad man, so that makes sense, but Djavan, what the hell is this? A win with 127 points?? Caleb Williams is so soft man. What was this game? Caleb vs. Jaxson Dart? And who spells their name like that? Jaxson?? What a dumb ass name man. Get a real name. This matchup featured Carnell Tate vs Rashod Bateman at wide receiver, so I don’t know what we were expecting, but 127-120? Come on guys. Get it together. Djavan moves to 2-0 with the lucky win and Logan falls to an expected 0-2 because his team is so bad man

Power of the Pussy vs. Magicman and El Deablo

Insane battle here between Nikki and Q that came down to a literal 0.2 point margin of victory in favor of Q. Literally any single play by any of these players could have made the difference in this game, and Nikki would have easily won if she had made one of several lineup changes. Despite that and despite dropping over 190 points, Nikki takes a brutal L here in a divisional matchup to Q, whose entire team was led by the 60 combined points from CD and Amon-Ra at wide receiver. Nikki tried to keep up with a massive Davante Adams outing of her own, but it wasn’t enough as team LA takes the win here in the closest game we’ve seen in years. Q moves to 1-1 with the win while Nikki falls to 0-2

Rich NaNnon vs. ELEFTHERIOS the Conquerer

This divisional matchup saw a performance for the ages as DJ Moore, the newest Buffalo Bill, provided Zack with a really solid -0.1 point as the Greeks take a big L here to rival squad Boof. Brock had issues of his own with QB Jayden Daniels leaving the game early due to injury, but the Jayden-Jacoby Brissett stack was enough to give him the dub this week against one of the worst teams in league history. Brock’s team didn’t perform all that great with most of his points coming from a massive JSN outing feat. Drew Lock, but it doesn’t matter how it looks as long as it gets filed into the win column. Both Brock and Zack are now 1-1

Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon

Week 3’s Bold Play Award goes to Nikki, for starting the wrong kicker. She rosters two, and left Harrison Butker and his 15 points on the bench while starting Cameron Dicker, who proceeded to score one (1) point. Nikki lost by 0.2

Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops

Djavan wins the Scoop of the Week for snagging Rashod Bateman off the wire, where he was one of only two players on Djavan’s whole squad to put up double digits with a 19 point outing in a terrible, low-scoring win against Logan, whose team is so bad man

YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler

Logan’s entire team wins the YOU BLEW IT Award, all he needed was 128 points and he couldn’t even do that. His QB’s combined for 5.6 lmao

Week 4 preview

Cooper DePeen vs. Power of the Pussy - Despite being 0-2, Nikki currently sits 5th in the league in points scored so anything can happen here in this divisional battle. AJ Brown is currently on IR for the Law Firm, but he has enough Eagles including AJ’s replacement Devonta Smith to get him by. Puka is out so look for Nikki to keep it close with a big game from Davante Adams as well as Lamar and Jonathan Taylor. Anything can happen here

The Kosher Nostra vs. Soviet Union - The Soviets may have the worst team in CSFFL history this season. This isn’t even close enough to warrant wasting my time typing this. Mike by 700

Magicman and El Deablo vs. Mooseknuckle - Logan’s team is so bad man. What are we doing. Somehow he has less points scored than Stalin. Q by 800

Rich NaNnon vs. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - Another barn burner here with the 7th and 8th scoring teams in the league (out of 10) facing off in a riveting divisional battle. I hope you guys like superstars, because this game features the likes of Geno Smith, Kenny Gainwell, and Bhayshul Tuten squaring off in what should be a high flying affair. Look for Djavan to squeak by again with getting absolutely no points scored against him as the team with the least points against through two weeks

Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD

ELEFTHERIOS the Conquerer vs. Sloppy Joe - The only game without featuring a complete buns team (maybe) is a rematch of last year’s final, which Joe took from Zack to repeat the pain from 2021 when Joe won on a stat correction/tie breaker combo. Zack’s team is pretty bad though so we will see. Joe by less than a point, probably