2026 Regular Season - Week 4
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Week 3 recap
Cooper DePeen vs. Power of the Pussy - Anthony’s skill positions didn’t blow anything out of the water, but they performed just enough to outscore Nikki’s lineup having a few rough games in there. The big difference was Anthony’s kicker, Harrison Mevis, who scored 14 points in the victory. Team owner Giordano was heard saying after the game, “Man, I just love having kickers in this league. It’s the best”. Anthony is 2-1 while Nikki is now 0-3
The Kosher Nostra vs. Soviet Union - In an incredibly obvious outcome, the Soviets took another beating, this time from Big Mike, as they may be the worst team in league history through the first three games. Mike only put up 169, a very Average Joe like score, but it was way more than enough with the Soviets scoring an incredibly awful 120 points. Mike is now 3-0 while Stalin is 0-3
Magicman and El Deablo vs. Mooseknuckle - Logan’s team is so bad man. What are we doing. His team might be worse than the Soviets, with just 137 points this week and losing to a team that couldn’t even break 160. Q somehow got a big game from Diddles Watson, which is just the worst, as he moves to 2-1 on the season while dropping Coach Rubs to 0-3
Rich NaNnon vs. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - Brock has to be feeling good here with a big 212 point outing led by Geno Smith and JSN, while Djavan got 64 combined points from Boof Purdy and Bijan alone in a tough L. The rest of the Ganja Farmers couldn’t muster up much, as the rest of the squad put up barely more than 100 points between them, and Djavan walks away with a tough loss in this divisional matchup. Both Brock and Djavan are 2-1
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
ELEFTHERIOS the Conquerer vs. Sloppy Joe - The Game of the Week didn’t disappoint, with another great battle between rivals Zack and Joe. Zack once again took another heartbreaking L, putting up the second highest score of the week but still taking the loss in a 218-212 game. Jahmyr Gibbs dropped 37.9 for Zack to go along with 20 point games from fossils Matthew Stafford and Derek Henry, but it wasn’t enough to overcome Joe not even starting a full lineup as Jayden Reed was out for the game. Truly can’t make it up. Joe is 3-0 while Zack is now 1-2
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
Boldest play of the week was easily Joe, starting an injured and inactive Jayden Reed against Zack in a rematch of last year’s final. Joe still won anyway and put up the highest score in the league this week (Zack had the second highest lmao)
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
Q wins this one, unfortunately, for his scoop of Diddles Watson who led both Q and the Browns to victory this week. Damnit
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
Multiple teams get this award here, with Stalin, Nikki, and Logan being 3 of easily the worst teams of all time. What are you guys doing
.Week 4 preview
The Kosher Nostra vs. ELEFTHERIOS the Conquerer - League leading Mike comes in to face Zack, who is coming off a tough loss last week to Joe in a finals rematch. These are two of the three highest scoring teams in the league, so look for Zack to lose another tight one here
Soviet Union vs. Power of the Pussy - This is such a bad game legitimately anything can happen. Tie
Mooseknuckle vs. Rich NaNnon - Logan’s team is so bad man. Not even gonna bother here.
Magicman and El Deablo vs. Cooper DePeen - Anthony Battle 2026 Round 1 kicks off here with a good battle between 2-1 teams. Q is starting 2 Browns offensive players, which is insane, but who knows man anything can happen. Q has a leaky defense here with the most points given up so far in 2026, so look for this to be a high scoring battle as he tries to keep pace with the Law Firm
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
Sloppy Joe vs. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - A divisional battle here between undefeated Joe and 2-1 Djavan looks good on the surface, but Djavan is actually the 7th highest scoring team in the league to Joe’s 2nd after Joe just dropped a 218 burger on Zack. Look for this one to be a good battle at first with Joe likely to pull away as the day rolls on