2026 Regular Season - Week 7
PAY YOUR DUES PEASANTS!!
Week 6 recap
Sloppy Joe vs. Power of the Pussy - Nikki was expected to lose here, but sheesh. Starting an injured guy in Tyler Warren definitely doesn’t help, but the best part here is RB Cam Skattebo not only scoring a bagel for Nikki, his own IRL team didn’t even give him a single carry lmao what a clown. Joe didn’t blow the doors off this week, with an above average Joe score of 177, but it was enough to send the Brits packing yet again as Nikki drops to 0-6 on the year while Joe remains undefeated at 6-0
HI-Life Ganja Farmers vs. Cooper DePeen - The Law Firm faced the Ganja Farmers, who had 3 guys on a bye and 1 on IR in the starting lineup. Anthony won, obviously, because he set a lineup. He is now 3-3 while he drops Djavan to 2-4
Mooseknuckle vs. Soviet Union - In obvious fashion, Logan pulled out a ridiculous victory starting one guy on a bye week and an injured guy in his flex spot during the NFL Europe game early Sunday morning AND getting less than 7 points from both RBs and one of his quarterbacks. How, you ask? The Soviets rolled out a lineup featuring Woody Marks, Denzel Boston, and Rome Odunze. Not how you do it. Stalin put up a meager 154 points to fall to 2-4 while Coach Rubs gets his first win of the year and moves to 1-5
ELEFTHERIOS the Conquerer vs. Magicman and El Deablo - Zack and Q both had guys that didn’t play in their starting lineups this week. What are we doing? Q is 4-2 and Zack is 2-4
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
Rich NaNnon vs. The Kosher Nostra - The GOTW mostly because both teams actually set lineups this week, Mike and Brock actually played out a tight battle that ultimately came down to star power. Mike got over 50 points from CMC and Kenneth Walker, while Brock saw solid games from Malik Nabers and Bhayshul Tuten in a tough loss. Mike remains undefeated at 6-0 and Brock falls to 4-2
Bold Play of the Week presented by Markal Lumber Crayon
The Bold Play of the Week Award goes to AutoJoe for starting 49ers WR Jacob Cowing, who proceeded to score 0 points. Jacob Cowen, if you are wondering, is a 25 year old receiver who hasn’t played since 2024 due to injury, and has one (1) catch on the season. Oh, you must be thinking, he is probably a return man and gets points that way. No. No he does not. Jacob Cowen has a total of 0.6 points scored on the season. Joe not only picked this guy up, but he started him. And won. Just incredible.
Scoop of the Week presented by Tostitos Scoops
So easily Jacob Cowing. Joe, legitimately, who is this guy and how did you find him? He had 0.6 points scored on the season
YOU BLEW IT Player of the Week presented by Adam Sandler
The You Blew It Award goes to everyone for starting nobody in half of the games - 4 of 10 teams had a bye or injured guy in the lineup lmao
.Week 7 preview
Cooper DePeen vs. Sloppy Joe - AutoJoe has a guy on the IR in his starting lineup, so you know he’s gonna pull out a win here. It’s just too obvious. It’s projected to be a near tie, with the Law Firm projected to win by just 4 despite the IR gap, but his 8 points out of punter Mitch Wishnowsky will likely be the difference maker in the game. Look for Anthony to give Joe his first loss of the season this week
The Kosher Nostra vs. HI-Life Ganja Farmers - Near exact scores out of Caleb Williams and Luther Burden on TNF saw Mike and Djavan off to a good start to this inter-divisional matchup, with Djavan setting a lineup this week and primed to give Mike his first loss of the season. He actually doesn’t, since he’s rolling out Jahan Dotson and Wan’Dale Robinson at WR (not a joke) against a team featuring CMC, Kenneth Walker, and Brock Bowers, but still. Anything can happen. (Look for Mike to keep it rolling here)
Soviet Union vs. ELEFTHERIOS the Conquerer - Stalin and Eleftherios face off here in an eastern European standoff, with the Greeks heavily favored because the Soviets have sent half their team to the gulag for their early season performance. Drake Maye finally picked it up on Thursday Night Penisball to give the Soviets an early lead, but Jahmyr Gibbs will likely score 50 points by himself so none of it really matters. Look for Zack to come back with a MNF win due to Braden Mann repeatedly pinning the Cowgirls inside the 10
Magicman and El Deablo vs. Rich NaNnon - If it wasn’t for the basement bowl this week, this would surely be the game of the week. But alas, Brock just has to play another North Division powerhouse this week in what is projected to be a high scoring battle. Q got a big 13.5 point outing from Patriots CB Marcus Jones on TNF to give him a good head start, but the real story here is the quarterback battle. Both of these teams are 4-2, but you would never guess it. Brock is rolling out Kyler Murray and Geno Smith - yes, Geno Smith - to face off against CJ Stroud and Diddles Watson. You can’t make this stuff up. Look for Q to give Brock a second L in a row to the North
Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits Game of the Week MMMMM GOOOOD
Power of the Pussy vs. Mooseknuckle - The Game of the Week here is the basement bowl, with Nikki and Logan battling for who will likely pay trophy shipping unless Stalin can continue to blow it (likely). Logan has an injured guy and Nikki has a guy on a bye week, so we are off to a good start here. Logan also is projected to score just 135 points despite only having that one gap in his lineup. That’s just incredible. Look for Nikki to get her first win of the season here